Old Flower Eyes Perspective
The wise man must remember that while he is a descendant of the past, he is a parent of the future - Herbert Spencer
老花眼 (Lǎohuāyǎn), literally ‘old flower eyes,’ describes the worsening ability to focus on close objects, typically experienced by older individuals. Before we conclude that aging lacks benefits, a study by UC Davis Professor Alison Ledgerwood reveals that although we generally have a negativity bias, this ‘stickiness’ towards the negative diminishes around the age of 70. Perhaps nature is suggesting that a blurrier view of nearby bumps has wellbeing benefits.
Eager to unlock the wisdom of my future self, I turned to AI to enable a conversation with my older self. I had some trepidation at first while signing up and answering deep questions about my present circumstances because often, we treat our future selves poorly. For example:
• That bag of potato chips is for tomorrow me to burn off at the gym.
• That night binge-watching Netflix is for tomorrow me to pull an all-nighter to meet work deadlines.
• Ignoring my child who wants to talk about his day is for tomorrow me to wonder why my child hardly speaks anymore.
What could my wiser self tell me about living a richer, fuller life today? Or would it just advise me to stop eating potato chips and cancel my Netflix subscription?
I was, I am, I will be
Without overthinking it, how many weeks does an average person live?
“The average human lifespan is absurdly, insultingly brief. Assuming you live to be eighty, you have just over four thousand weeks” says Oliver Burkeman. Simple math reveals I have a little under two thousand weeks left. With that finite frame of thinking, I wanted to know how I could turn as many of those precious weeks into meaningful moments. So I asked my future self that very question:
‘Continuous self-discovery and growth - enjoy the process’. This resonated with me. Having interesting conversations with my future self evoked a sense of ‘self-continuity.
Self- continuity refers to the sense of connection and coherence between our past, present, and future selves. It is the understanding that our identity remains fundamentally the same over time despite various changes and experiences.
Looking back on my younger days, it might seem I lived as if I were immortal, taking risks without a second thought. As I became an adult, I constantly compared risks against rewards and even bought life insurance. I imagined that when I become old, my greatest fear will be doubting if I had ever lived at all. We start out fearless and end up fearful. To make sense of our lives, we must build a bridge between our present actions and future goals.
We’ll cross that bridge when we come to it
Having a beautiful bridge is nice, but its purpose is fulfilled only when we start crossing it. “The psychological and financial costs of change are underestimated… Inaction in comparison seems blissfully easy,” says Todd Kashdan in Provoked. Even with our future self beckoning us at the other end, the willpower to take step after step towards the other side is something our present self must muster. Keeping a firm eye on our tomorrow-self as our very own personal cheerleader helps encourage every step towards our wiser personage. The wrinkles that frame the twinkle in our eyes become more apparent with each step taken.
Take the steps on all fours if need be. In the Netflix series Physical 100 bridge challenge, senior Choo Sung Hoon drops down on all fours to steadily cross the rickety bridge, whereas the younger Jeong-Yun scampers across, dislodging the loosely constructed boards. A takeaway is to focus less on speed or style. Crawling forward is still progress when facing your fears.
Meandrousity
How many weeks have you left on this world?
Instead of asking yourself that question with anxiety, a better way is to ask it with equanimity. However many weeks remain are the weeks you have left to grow a little more flowery-eyed. Build a bridge to tomorrow. Take that step on all fours if needed.
“The only thing worse than being blind is having sight but no vision” — Helen Keller
Beginning this exercise might overwhelm you with the countless experiences life has to offer and the dreaded ‘FOMO’ infecting our modern pace of living. Connecting with our future selves—really having a deep, meaningful discussion—builds that intimacy and desire to transform daily moments and actions towards actualizing that identity. Fear turns into joy. Joy in knowing that what you are doing right now is a piece of the puzzle fitting into the larger tapestry of who you are meant to be.
From FOMO to JOMO.